Frogs

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Winter and the single mom

I hate winter. I just plain hate it.

Don't try to convince me why you disagree; I shall not be swayed. Don't tell me that you like winter better than summer because you can always add more clothes when you're cold but can take off only so much when you're hot -- that's total BS.

I have a bulleted list of why I hate winter (in my head -- come on, I'm not THAT obsessed), and it's at least a dozen entries long. The constant shocks of static electricity, scraping ice off car windows, waking up and coming home in the dark, feeling like the Michelin Man and still being cold, lugging a coat around inside just so you don't freeze again outside -- I could go on and on.

What I've recently added to my "Reasons I hate winter" list, though, is time. The amount of time it takes to go anywhere with a child practically triples in the wintertime.

This morning, as with every morning since this latest cold snap set in, I started the process of heading to the door several minutes before I normally do and yet ended up dropping my son off at school several minutes later than I normally do. Where is the time lost in the middle? Here are a few clues...

"Mommy, do I need my heavy coat today?" (coat goes on)

"Mommy, where are my gloves?" (gloves go on)

"Wait, I can't zip up my coat with my gloves on." (gloves come off)

"Mommy, the zipper to my coat is stuck." (coat zipped)

"Oops, that's the wrong hand for this glove." (gloves back on)

"Mommy, where's my hat."

"No, not that hat, my other hat." (dig in the closet)

"Mommy, I can't get my hat on with my gloves on. Can you help me?" (hat finally on)

Already it's been a 5-minute process, and we haven't even begun the painfully slow march to the car that my son performs on cold mornings. ("It's too cold to walk fast.")

And then we run into further problems like the difficulty of getting in a car seat with a bulky coat on and buckling seat belts while wearing gloves.

So not only do I have to wake up in the dark on winter mornings, I have to wake up even earlier than during warmer months to account for the exceedingly time-consuming process of getting bundled up and getting out the door.

You know what I need? One of those machines on "The Jetsons" that dresses you while you're standing there. I'm not all that demanding. We can handle our regular clothes. I really just want one for outerwear. Is that so much to ask?

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